


lucky strike

by sapphicgoddess



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicgoddess/pseuds/sapphicgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i know she was never really mine and i was never really hers but i can’t help but feel like my heart is breaking every time i see him wearing that flannel i’d torn of her shoulders more times than i can count. camren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lucky strike

Lauren exhales the thick smoke from her lungs and leans back against the hood of the car, eyes clouding with ecstasy as they face the millions of lights in the night sky.

I watch her carefully, examining every freckle and every detail of her unmasked face. The moonlight is reflecting off her pale skin as her emerald eyes close and a blissful smile spreads across her lips. Her leg rises slowly to stop against the front of the hood and exposes the scar on her leg she'd received as a result of years of being too aggressive playing softball. The scar stretches from right above the middle of her thigh down to her knee. If it wasn't for the moonlight radiating off of it you probably wouldn't even notice it.

She rises her hand to meet her lips and holds the joint skillfully between her thumb and index finger. Her eyes open slowly, tauntingly and meet my own. She's silently asking me to join her. I don't argue. I begin to make my way to the hood of the car and sigh to myself as I think of all the possible outcomes of this one action. She shifts to the side, allowing me to take the space beside her. She passes me the joint and I bring it to my own mouth as I hear her sigh contently beside me, her hand finding my thigh. I pretend as if I don't feel the shiver she sends down my spine and pretend it's because of the chilly weather. I take a hit from the joint and shut my eyes as I feel her fingernails running up and down the skin just above my knee.

Slowly but surely I can feel the smoke getting to my head and the pace of the world seems to slow down all at once. I pass the remains of the joint back to the girl beside me and don't hide myself from looking at her this time. Her thick eyebrows narrow as she once again brings it to her lips and inhales the last part before sitting up and flicking it away to the ground.  
I sit back down and admire the incredible view of the sky when it wasn’t hidden by city lights. Despite my complete amusement of the stars there was another set of stars I could feel shining just as brightly. My view sets on her eyes that have developed a much darker shade of emerald. She runs her fingers through her messy hair before I, once again, can feel her hand setting on my leg. This time it doesn't make me shiver as much. However it does make my heart beat so frantically against my ribcage there is no way she can’t heart it.  
Without a word she leans down, inching closer to my face by the second and by now I am completely sure she can hear my heartbeat. I lay completely still and let my eyes shut in sync with hers as I wait for her to set off the explosions in my head as her lips connect with mine. Instead, I am met with a warm blissful feeling in the pit of my stomach and my racing heart seems to slow down so fast I am sure that this has to be a heart attack.

But I don’t feel any shooting pain in my left arm, however I do feel how soft her lips are. I part my lips as her hand slowly runs to the back of my thigh and lifts my leg. I decide to make a bold move and place my fingertips beneath her jaw, pulling her closer to me. And I know I shouldn't think twice of it. I know I should probably listen to the little voice inside my head telling me to stop before it was too late because she's got a fucking boyfriend. A boyfriend whose car we are on. But her lips are so soft and she is so beautiful and oh god.

 

The second time it happens I am so completely caught off guard I don't even have time to react. One second we're standing in the kitchen in the house of someone from school doing rounds of shots and receiving an endless amount of applauses for our unfortunate talent of downing one alcoholic drink after the other without as much as blinking twice while the boys watch in amusement. The next I am being dragged into one of the guest rooms and getting attacked by a set of lips that are much too soft to not remember. But I am so completely taken aback that I have to reach for the lights and turn it on just to make sure that it is actually her.

"What are you doing? Turn that off. "

I don’t have the time to react before she pushes me up against the door and turns the light off in one swift motion. Despite the darkness I can just tell that she is smirking as she grabs me by my shirt and kisses me so hard I almost forget whose air I’m breathing.  
Her fingers once again meet my skin and this time it sets fire to my whole body. I can't help the moan that escapes from the back of my throat as her hands grab my backside and pulls me closer to her. I run my fingers up her jaw, neck and lastly let them tangle in her long dark curls, dying to get to touch more of her as we blindly search for the bed. I feel the back of my knees collide with something and soon enough I am being pushed down to a mattress and all I can think of is how grateful I am that it was in fact a bed and not the floor.

Her lips once again find my own and there is absolutely nothing sweet about this kiss. It leaves an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and it almost makes me sick as she drags her teeth along my bottom lip. This is all lust and just following the aching between our legs and not thinking twice of the outcome. My heart is racing and I can hear the little voice in the back of my head again saying we really shouldn’t be doing this again but my mind is so intoxicated and all I can think is: “I am so going to hell. ” before I grab the back of her neck and flip her onto her back.

 

The third time it happens is also the time I stop counting. It just becomes a regular occurrence on our drunken or high rendezvouses. We never speak of it. It's more or less a silent enforced rule. I want to talk about it, believe me I do, but the more I think about it the more I realize that I know Lauren and I know me and I know this did not have one good possible outcome.

I am on my way home from yet another house party and my phone is buzzing. I only have 1% left and the only thing I can see before it shuts down completely is Lauren's name followed by: Text message. Without thinking twice, I get Hailee to switch lanes and drop me off 2 blocks from my own house. I kiss her on the cheek and watch the confusion in her eyes as I jump out of the vehicle and make my way to the front of the house I'd walked past a couple of thousand times but never actually entered. I check the mailbox just to be safe and grin to myself when I see Jauregui plastered in white letters on the red mailbox.

The house seems empty and the lights are off. I don't know whether her family is asleep or if she's home by herself. My drunken mind does not think twice of it and I begin to play out the scene I'd watched a countless amount of times in romantic movies. I pick up a small rock and aim for the one place where a small light is shining in the window to the top right side and pray to God it’s the right bedroom. Soon enough the window opens and her head peaks out, a cocky grin plastered on her lips. I can’t help the smile that appears on my face and I shrug. She laughs and shakes her head as she gets back inside and shuts the window. I make my way up to the front door and wait impatiently for her to appear and unlock the door. After a dreadful while she finally does and I am met by the pair of green eyes I'd been absent from for a whole week. She's draped in a much too big, unbuttoned red flannel and nothing but black underwear. Her hair is a complete mess and her eyeliner is smudged but somehow she always seems to be able to pull off that worn out look.

"Hey there, " She smirks as she brings up a cup to her mouth containing God knows what but I bet it’s not tea. I don't hesitate to close the space between us and I can practically feel her smirk against my lips. "So I take it you saw the text. "

"No, " I tell her quietly as she guides me upstairs, her hips swaying with every move and I can feel the rising temperature on my cheeks and I force myself to look away. "My phone died. But it wasn't really that hard to figure out what you wanted. "

I chuckle as her lips form into a grin and she shuts the door behind us as we enter what I assume is her bedroom since it has vinyls scattered all over the place and posters taped up on the walls with one queen sized bed in the middle. It looks exactly how I expected.  
She downs the last bit of what is in her cup before she places it on the desk. As she spins around to face me and locks her eyes with mine the whole atmosphere suddenly changes. She walks up to me, her eyes holding more admiration than I had ever seen and I can feel my heart start to ache in a way it hadn’t done before. Her arm reaches out and flicks the lights off. She kisses me and I pretend I don't notice how I have seen that exact flannel shirt on her boyfriend earlier this same night.

x

A year has passed since the first time she kissed me on the hood of that car in the middle of June. It's been three months since the last time I dug my nails into her back and had to clench my jaw so hard it would ache for days so I wouldn’t cry when she left marks on my neck that would last for just as long.

We still go to the same parties. She still wears that same flannel. We still get high and can tolerate more alcohol that we'd ever dreamt of, only these days, I'm not the one she drags into guest rooms and kisses until you swear you can taste heaven on your lips. I know she was never really mine and I was never really hers but I can’t help but feel my heart breaking every time I see him wearing that flannel I’d torn of her shoulders more times than I can remember.

**Author's Note:**

> angsty one shot because i love being emo and i was thinking about a girl i used to know


End file.
